Marriage Doesn't Solve Your Problems

     Nope. It doesn't. 

     As a little girl, almost every movie I watched involved a young woman who had all of these problems and ended up meeting a young handsome man, marrying him and all of her problems were magically gone! 

     Cinderella is the perfect example of this. At a young age, she loses her mother then ends up losing her father. Afterwards, she gets stuck with a step-mother and 2 step-sisters who treat her horribly. After years of sadness and being treated like a servant, she finally meets her fairy godmother, who grants Cinderella her one greatest wish, to go to the Prince's ball! (cue catchy song & mice turning into horses) We all know how this story ends, Cinderella gets her prince and she lives "happily ever after". 

     But does all of Cinderella's problems really end after that? Whatever happened to her step-mother and step-sisters? What about  having to help rule a kingdom? Wasn't she worried about her responsibilities with that? 

     Now, I'm not saying that I don't enjoy this movie or any others like it, but it is very unrealistic to how life really is, right? 

     When John and I first got engaged, we were obviously filled with excitement! We had so many hopes and plans for our future (we still do & we create more every day), but within our first month or so of being married, we started dealing with...well...a whole lotta crap. My aunt passed away from breast cancer and John lost his best friend, also to cancer. They passed away within 1 week of each other. Dealing with both of these losses one right after the other was incredibly stressful on us. After another month or so, our lives started to become normal again as we were getting ready to start school and were working. 

     Then one night, I started experiencing excruciating pain in my lower abdomen. I couldn't move. John and I went to the ER. We left with no results and some pain medicine. A few days after, I started experiencing the pain again. We went back and had some ultrasounds done. They discovered 2 ovarian cysts, one on each ovary, that were 2-4 cm in size. I was extremely worried. I was supposed to start nursing school, something I've worked 5 long years for, and this has to happen?! How long would this take to heal? Would I need surgery? How does this affect John and I when we are ready to have children? Long story short, the cysts ended up going away on their own within a few weeks & the pain subsided as well. I was able to start nursing school with no problems!

     Also during this time, John started having really bad and painful ringing in his ears that would make him dizzy and nauseous. When we went to the doctor, John had to have a lot of tests done, including an MRI. Everything came back clear on the MRI, and we learned John had a 40% hearing loss in his right ear in the higher frequencies. This was both relieving and frustrating. We were glad nothing came back on the MRI, but what is the cause of his pain?

    Before we could find out, I started having pains again. We did another ultrasound and found another cyst. AGAIN?! I have to go through this again?! My OB suggested I have an exploratory surgery to see if I had endometriosis. This surgery was to be scheduled just days before I was going to start my next semester.

     Wow. 

     Timing. 

     After a lot of thought, I decided to go through with the surgery and was hopeful this would end my pain. During the surgery, they found excess fluid from a ruptured cyst and some endometriosis. My OB treated it, and I began healing. 

     Even though everything ended up being okay, which we are SO grateful for, it made John and I think a lot about our short time as a couple. Who would have thought that in our short 6 months of marriage, we would go through so much in such a short amount of time together. We laughed about how we thought life would've gotten easier after we got married because we would have each other, how we thought all of our personal problems would just "disappear". Instead we have learned that when you get married, you kind of take on each others stresses and problems. This may seem extremely pessimistic, but I don't mean it to be. Though me & John have gone through a lot of stress since we've been married, as does every couple in their own way, there isn't anyone else that I would want to go through these ups and downs with. 

     No, getting married does not solve all of your problems. It certainly doesn't make your problems go away. But it does help to have someone who goes through your stress with you. You are a team. Sometimes the team isn't strong, sometimes the team fights, but you're a team. You work together. You fight together. You rejoice together. You work to have a "happily ever after". Together.

     SPECIAL NOTE TO HUSBAND: I LOVE YOU!!!!

     Until next time,

     

     Haley