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Hello again!
This week on my blog, I thought it would be fun to post a little "get to know me". I'm sure most of my readers already know all of the fun facts about me, but for this post I don't really want to talk about "fun facts". I figure you'll find those out as you continue reading my posts. 😉 This week, I wanted to talk more about my past, and what brought me to where I am today. What made me, well...me.
I guess you could say my story started in high school. Junior year to be exact. I had auditioned the year before and had made it into my high school's Accapella choir! (woot woot!) I had just received my driver's license and had my first boyfriend! (Yes, I was totally the coolest kid...to my grandma...but that counts, right?)
Life was pretty good.
Until one day it wasn't.
My best friend had found out after weeks of chronic knee pain, that she had osteosarcoma, or bone cancer, in her knee. They had found it before it had spread to other parts of her body, but regardless of that, she still had to do chemotherapy to help treat it. She was only 14 years old. Having to watch someone you love and someone who you grew up with drop to an unhealthy weight, lose their hair, and lose a bit of themselves without being able to do anything about it is probably one of the most horrible things one can experience in their life. Other than being the one going through that, of course. I took it very hard. I was upset, I was confused, but most of all I was angry. In our world, we constantly hear people ask "why". Why does God let bad things happen? Why does God let people get cancer? Why does God give CHILDREN cancer?
I never understood why people were so quick to blame God, but now I completely understood. In fact, I became one of them. I had grown up being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I went to church every Sunday. I participated in church activities. I had a testimony. But I was quick to get angry. I remember countless people telling me, "Haley, you have to be strong for her. You have to be positive." This made me angrier. I didn't want to be strong or positive. I wanted to be angry. I wanted MY answers. Regardless of my anger, I made sure I could be up at the hospital as much as I could to be with her and try and help her feel like herself. I hope I was able to make her feel better, but little did I know that going up there made ME feel better. By the most unexpected people. Of course her and her family made me feel better, but the nurses who took care of her really inspired me. They were phenomenal. They were so kind, so loving, made her smile, but most of all they were understanding. They showed me what an impact nursing really makes, and how much it really affects the healing process of others. I truly believe that they are a major reason she recovered, and I think she would agree with me.
This was my first "inkling" about becoming a nurse.
Time went on and my friend was able to recover and go on with her life. I thought I did as well, but I still had a lot to learn and had a lot of hard feelings. When I was a senior in high school, I became pregnant with Liam. I became angry again. Of course, it was my fault, but why ME of all people?! Did Heavenly Father not understand what this would do to my family?! Did He not understand what it would do to me?!
Yes. He understood.
When the time came to deliver my son, my experience at the hospital was horrible. I had just barely turned 18 years old, and was unmarried. I know what the nurses and doctors thought about me, because they made it very clear in the way they treated me. I hardly ever saw my nurses. When I did see them, they wouldn't talk to me and whenever I had a question, it was brushed off and completely ignored. I had an unnecessary IV left in my hand for 3 days and was badly bruised from it, and whenever I complained about the pain I was just given some Ibuprofen and was never told why I had to keep it when I wasn't even hooked up to any fluids. The one doctor I did see after 2 days in the hospital, told my mom in the most annoyed way possible that he "absolutely refused" to see my son because he was not covered on health insurance. He was. My mom, who was furious, told this doctor that and he made up some other excuse why he couldn't see my son and left the room. One woman, who was in charge of obtaining birth certificates, came into my room and promptly told me that I had one hour to fill out the papers she had just given me or she would "fill it out herself". Because of my situation, I was treated like my child and I didn't matter. In nursing school, we are consistently drilled on how we are advocates for our patients. Other than my own mom, I didn't have that and it greatly affected how I felt about not only my situation, but myself.
This was my second "inkling".
Despite my horrible experience, I was continuing to have other experiences that better helped me understand and "make up" with Heavenly Father. The moment after I had Liam, getting married in the temple (something that wasn't important to me before) was extremely important now. I was going to be sealed with this little boy. I was going to get my life together. I was going to be the greatest mom that I could be. Even if that meant doing it on my own. Which I did for 5 years.
The ongoing years would be one of the most difficult times in my life. Thankfully, I was (and still am) blessed to have the greatest family and friends to support me. You know you some good people when your grandpa and best friend hang out with you for 2 weeks straight after giving birth, watching chick-flicks and doing your families dishes! (Thanks Ash! 😂) I also had (still have!) Heavenly Father.
As nurses, or healthcare professionals in general, we see people at their most vulnerable and scary times. My life experiences have shown me what I want to be and why I want to do it. I want to help others. I want both the cancer patient I take care of, and the young mom I help deliver, that they have someone in their corner being their biggest advocate.
I hope that all of you reading were able to not only learn about me, but learn about yourselves as well. We all have times that are hard. We all have times where we tend to forget the good we have. We all have times when we may get upset with the way our lives are going. I want you all to know, that it DOES get better. People suck sometimes, but people also rock sometimes. I truly believe that with every bad thing that happens in the world, 5 great things happen to take it's place. Sometimes, it's small and hard to see, but if you look and search hard enough, they are there.
There is a Heavenly Father. He knows you and he knows what you need. He will test and try you. But, through the tests and trials he will show you what you are capable of, and I can promise you that each of you are more capable than you know. He wants and He does help you. He loves you.
See you all soon,
Haley
This week on my blog, I thought it would be fun to post a little "get to know me". I'm sure most of my readers already know all of the fun facts about me, but for this post I don't really want to talk about "fun facts". I figure you'll find those out as you continue reading my posts. 😉 This week, I wanted to talk more about my past, and what brought me to where I am today. What made me, well...me.
I guess you could say my story started in high school. Junior year to be exact. I had auditioned the year before and had made it into my high school's Accapella choir! (woot woot!) I had just received my driver's license and had my first boyfriend! (Yes, I was totally the coolest kid...to my grandma...but that counts, right?)
Life was pretty good.
Until one day it wasn't.
My best friend had found out after weeks of chronic knee pain, that she had osteosarcoma, or bone cancer, in her knee. They had found it before it had spread to other parts of her body, but regardless of that, she still had to do chemotherapy to help treat it. She was only 14 years old. Having to watch someone you love and someone who you grew up with drop to an unhealthy weight, lose their hair, and lose a bit of themselves without being able to do anything about it is probably one of the most horrible things one can experience in their life. Other than being the one going through that, of course. I took it very hard. I was upset, I was confused, but most of all I was angry. In our world, we constantly hear people ask "why". Why does God let bad things happen? Why does God let people get cancer? Why does God give CHILDREN cancer?
I never understood why people were so quick to blame God, but now I completely understood. In fact, I became one of them. I had grown up being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I went to church every Sunday. I participated in church activities. I had a testimony. But I was quick to get angry. I remember countless people telling me, "Haley, you have to be strong for her. You have to be positive." This made me angrier. I didn't want to be strong or positive. I wanted to be angry. I wanted MY answers. Regardless of my anger, I made sure I could be up at the hospital as much as I could to be with her and try and help her feel like herself. I hope I was able to make her feel better, but little did I know that going up there made ME feel better. By the most unexpected people. Of course her and her family made me feel better, but the nurses who took care of her really inspired me. They were phenomenal. They were so kind, so loving, made her smile, but most of all they were understanding. They showed me what an impact nursing really makes, and how much it really affects the healing process of others. I truly believe that they are a major reason she recovered, and I think she would agree with me.
This was my first "inkling" about becoming a nurse.
Time went on and my friend was able to recover and go on with her life. I thought I did as well, but I still had a lot to learn and had a lot of hard feelings. When I was a senior in high school, I became pregnant with Liam. I became angry again. Of course, it was my fault, but why ME of all people?! Did Heavenly Father not understand what this would do to my family?! Did He not understand what it would do to me?!
Yes. He understood.
When the time came to deliver my son, my experience at the hospital was horrible. I had just barely turned 18 years old, and was unmarried. I know what the nurses and doctors thought about me, because they made it very clear in the way they treated me. I hardly ever saw my nurses. When I did see them, they wouldn't talk to me and whenever I had a question, it was brushed off and completely ignored. I had an unnecessary IV left in my hand for 3 days and was badly bruised from it, and whenever I complained about the pain I was just given some Ibuprofen and was never told why I had to keep it when I wasn't even hooked up to any fluids. The one doctor I did see after 2 days in the hospital, told my mom in the most annoyed way possible that he "absolutely refused" to see my son because he was not covered on health insurance. He was. My mom, who was furious, told this doctor that and he made up some other excuse why he couldn't see my son and left the room. One woman, who was in charge of obtaining birth certificates, came into my room and promptly told me that I had one hour to fill out the papers she had just given me or she would "fill it out herself". Because of my situation, I was treated like my child and I didn't matter. In nursing school, we are consistently drilled on how we are advocates for our patients. Other than my own mom, I didn't have that and it greatly affected how I felt about not only my situation, but myself.
This was my second "inkling".
Despite my horrible experience, I was continuing to have other experiences that better helped me understand and "make up" with Heavenly Father. The moment after I had Liam, getting married in the temple (something that wasn't important to me before) was extremely important now. I was going to be sealed with this little boy. I was going to get my life together. I was going to be the greatest mom that I could be. Even if that meant doing it on my own. Which I did for 5 years.
The ongoing years would be one of the most difficult times in my life. Thankfully, I was (and still am) blessed to have the greatest family and friends to support me. You know you some good people when your grandpa and best friend hang out with you for 2 weeks straight after giving birth, watching chick-flicks and doing your families dishes! (Thanks Ash! 😂) I also had (still have!) Heavenly Father.
As nurses, or healthcare professionals in general, we see people at their most vulnerable and scary times. My life experiences have shown me what I want to be and why I want to do it. I want to help others. I want both the cancer patient I take care of, and the young mom I help deliver, that they have someone in their corner being their biggest advocate.
I hope that all of you reading were able to not only learn about me, but learn about yourselves as well. We all have times that are hard. We all have times where we tend to forget the good we have. We all have times when we may get upset with the way our lives are going. I want you all to know, that it DOES get better. People suck sometimes, but people also rock sometimes. I truly believe that with every bad thing that happens in the world, 5 great things happen to take it's place. Sometimes, it's small and hard to see, but if you look and search hard enough, they are there.
There is a Heavenly Father. He knows you and he knows what you need. He will test and try you. But, through the tests and trials he will show you what you are capable of, and I can promise you that each of you are more capable than you know. He wants and He does help you. He loves you.
See you all soon,
Haley
This was a heart breaking, and healing. I hope one day you can be the nurse you were entitled too.
ReplyDeleteYou are too kind. Thank you!
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